My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
