i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
