Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I will be naked everywhere
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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