You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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