I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
