the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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