I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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