He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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