Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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