she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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