the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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