I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize