I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
