My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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