am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
