I could make wine with my vomit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
