And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
