apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
