I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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