me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
