I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize