then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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