bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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