And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
