Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
