I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
