tell your sister to shave her snatch
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
