the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
