I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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