nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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