all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
