So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This house was built for laser tag.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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