I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
