im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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