Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
