im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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