I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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