Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
