So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
