That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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