Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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