I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
