Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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