after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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