Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
