Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
