I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My first STD was from a foam party
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
