Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
