watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
