He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
