I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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