Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
