Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
