white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Is it penis luge time yet?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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