Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
