but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
