He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
