It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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