I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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