We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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