conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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