When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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