you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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