Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
