I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
